March 7th, 2015.
Let’s back this up. A long, long time ago I was saved and baptised. I don’t remember how old I was. I don’t remember what was said. All I remember….I didn’t have my eyes closed during prayer and I was swinging my hands up and down on the back of the pew in front of me. I remember looking up at the preacher, making eye contact, and him signaling at me that he see’s me.
That’s all. I was saved solely by mistake. But what is a kid to do? I was approached after the church service, congratulated on something that I didn’t understand what they were talking about and I just went along with it. I was just that kid. I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t know what I had just done.
I knew about Jesus. I was raised in a church. I was told about him. I mean, I knew him. But I didn’t really.
The basic summary of my life overall after that consist of…. believing in Jesus but knowing deep in my heart that I was not saved. To others, I was saved but to myself I was not.
I always felt like I should remember that day. I should remember how I felt. If it was real, I would remember something other than it being a mistake.
When my Mema passed away and everyday from that point to March 7th of this year, I felt horrible. I knew that my Mema was in Heaven. And I knew if something were to happen to me, I would never get to see her again. That’s not a good feeling, guys. My Mema was and always will be a very important person to me.
See, God’s gift is easy. You ask for him to be in your heart and he will be. It’s simple. But as adults, it’s a hard concept to understand. It’s a free gift and in our earthly world, nothing is free. I struggled and struggled with this thought.
It’s funny how God’s timing is just so perfect and clear.
On March 7th, 2015, my family was a at a Wild Game dinner only because my Uncle Chris was speaking at it. My only intention and purpose of being there was to listen to and support my Uncle Chris. I didn’t know that God’s purpose for my being there was something much greater than that.
I don’t remember what he was saying. I don’t remember much of that night’s events. But I remember God working in my heart that night and I remember accepting him into my heart. I remember saying that prayer. I remember crying on the way home to my husband after, because I was finally saved. I had finally gotten out of my own way and allowed God not only to walk beside me but live within my heart. I didn’t have to pretend anymore.
That’s my testimony. It may not be some big extravagant story or of importance to anyone, but it is to me!
**Write 31 Days is a challenge that I accepted for October 2015. If you would like to read more about this challenge, you can click here!***